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Sakeru Gummy series

Sakeru Gummy series
Sakeru Gummy series

As we tend to all grasp, candy is a very vital a part of life. Chi-chan, the star of a series of commercials by Japanese gum company Sakeru that has totally ravaged everything i believed I knew concerning life, believes this deeply. She and her young man Tooru-san square measure immense fans of Sakeru sticky, a line of “rippable” manduction gum that comes in each short and “looong” formats. the sensible, all the way down to earth Tooru-san prefers the smaller, a lot of ancient size of gum. sadly for him, however, Chi-chan’s wishes square measure a lot of… unconventional.

Over the years, many a yank confection company has tried to promote funny massive parts of manduction gum to youths. Indeed, several have done quite well; within the Nineteen Eighties and ‘90s, Wrigley used Terry Gilliam-parroting animations and rude cartoons to with success convert kids that Bubble Tape is sweet as a result of previous folks assume it’s unhealthy. however, no yank gum company has ever returned even getting ready to the emotional rapture and future devastation of Long Long Man.

et to the tune of what’s sure as shooting a heist of the horny sax man riff from “Careless Whisper,” that Sakeru either couldn’t or wouldn’t trouble to license, the eleven (!) distinct episodic commercials tell the story of Chi-chan’s enraptured, rollercoaster sexual practice. It begins on a carefree day within the park, wherever she and Tooru-san square measure enjoying short items of gum within the sunshine. That is, till she lays eyes on a enigmatically unshaven and clothed intruder referred to as Loooong, Looooooong, Maaaaaaaaaan.

She is straight away fascinated by the length of his… gum, and when he enigmatically seems each throughout another date with Tooru-san at the installation (Long Long Man’s… gum is as long as Associate in Nursing elephant’s trunk!), then at her doorsill (delivering a box of Tooru-san’s boring short gum, with a stick of his long… gum protruding of his… delivery uniform pocket), she will be able to now not resist, and throws herself (mouth first?!) into his swish, gum-ripping arms. This, after all, means that she should finish things with Tooru-san, World Health Organization is beside himself with grief. that’s till Chi-chan dramatically claims she is dying, that is why “whenever [she looks] at long things, [she feels] assured.” No logical affiliation between death and long gum is ever offered.
Eventually she reconciles with Tooru-san — when an admirer with robust abstraction awareness points out that a lot of short gums equal one long, long gum — and agrees to marry him, despite being sexually haunted by elongated objects just like the long, pink ears of a large bunny whose existential terror rivals Donnie Darko’s Frank.

Many, several queries stay by the tip of this chicle-saturated gum-dong epic. Why do these relationships revolve virtually solely around gum and gum fandom? By “let’s eat,” will Chi-chan’s young man imply that these folks {rely on|believe|consider|think concerning|suppose|deem|trust|admit|accept|have confidence|have faith in|place confidence in} gum as sustenance? Why will he hate extra-long gum most that he (a) encompasses a scene about it, and (b) refuses to undertake it so as to stay his lady’s heart? If Long Long Man’s affections actually lie wherever he claims within the twist ending, why did he apparently get naked and chew gum with Chi-chan in bed?? Did Chi-chan extremely faux a terminal sickness as evidence for her gum infidelity?

But the answers matter not, my friends. What matters is that the mightiest jingle refrain of our time: the St. George of the Jungle-esque cry of, “Looooong, loooooooong maaaaaaaaaaaaan!” If you arrive halfway through the journey and see “Looooong, loooooooong maaaaaaaaaaaaan!” has lost its half-crazed grip on your soul, I press you: trust in ME, and continue on this journey. Your patience shall be rewarded. The sound… it echoes through my mind even currently, when a solid six repeat viewings, and can doubtless reverberate there for years to come back. For whom do I root during this epic heroic tale of concupiscence for rubbery corn syrup? I don’t grasp, however, Long Long Man has even so undone ME.


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